Walk with me through another journey of choices.
We have some major holidays coming up in the next few months. Do we have choices to make or do we have a choice? This depends on who you are and who is in your life. If you’re a kid your plans may be made for you. As an adult, it can become more complex. You may enjoy all of your options, maybe you hate all of your options, or somewhere in between.
Do you have a favorite side of the family you enjoy visiting?
Maybe you grew up watching some football on Thanksgiving. Maybe you went out and played some family football. Your family is loud, crazy, and busy! You walk into this and feel at home. Christmas time was about family and making memories. The love was visible and if an outside person was to walk in, they would feel it.
Does your significant other want to be with their side of the family?
Maybe they are used to being calmer and more collected with their family. This is home for them. You know there is love but it may not be as warm and welcoming as the way you are used to. Make no mistake, it is warm and welcoming to them.
Neither is right nor wrong just different, there are many reasons this may be. Your choice conflicts with someone else’s choice. Maybe they lost someone important to them during the holidays. Maybe they experienced trauma, haunting them during this time of year. Sometimes it can be an easy resolution, other times it can be a real challenge.
For some people, this can be a very stressful time of year to make choices.
Dreading the decision they are a part of. It can be very difficult and can lead them to say and do things that they wouldn’t normally say or do.
Have you ever felt like someone sabotages plans around the holidays? Maybe that sabotage is because of something that they have never dealt with. They do have a choice but the choice is more complicated than dining in or taking out, paper or plastic, or Crinkle or Fold (the TP that is).
Walking with someone through this can make this time of year stressful. Especially if you are not able to empathize with them. It can feel like a bomb could go off at any time. This is something that can go on for years until the person accepts and receives help. Even after dealing with this, the cycle may continue because it’s triggered from the time of year.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you do, but people will never forget how you make them feel.”
-Maya Angelou-
This year, think about something you can do to make the holiday season a little better for someone.
This doesn’t mean you have to give up all your hopes for the holidays, maybe just talk to them about making new ones. Ones that you can enjoy together. Ones that can make you grow closer together with the people you love.
Often the simplest thing can be the most enjoyable new tradition you start with friends and family. Maybe a hike in the woods, it could be a cuddle by the fireplace or putting together a lego set with your babies.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
-Dr. Wayne Dyer-
Find a way to connect with someone this Holiday season. Here is a blog that talks about marking the most out of your holiday experiences:
https://www.theknot.com/content/share-holidays-different-families
Submitted by: Bradley Schumacher
